“Love for the child can move mountains.”
All the moms would unanimously agree with the above statement. Every mom is a hero whether she has a biological child or an adopted one. As a mother you strive to do the best for your children as you feel that your children are precious and the best of the world is just good enough for them.
We go through the “joyful” pain of motherhood with love and pride of being mom. Once a mom always a mom- Life goes on a track from where you can’t take a U turn.
When all set for the journey of motherhood, everyone has a beautifully painted picture of a “perfect” child and a beautiful journey. But many a times the unexpected happens. For few the news comes with the birth of the child. They take home their “bundle of challenge”. For few the missing milestones hint for the unexpected journey ahead. Some come to know of it when the child is different from his/her peers. There are many cases where an unexpected accident or sickness stains the perfect picture.
These are mothers who have children with various tags- Physically disabled, Autism, Cerebral Palsy, ASD, ADHD, Down’s syndrome, Dyslexia, Learning Disability….. the list is endless. All of them come under a big umbrella of “Special Need Children” or in other words “Differently abled children”. “Differently abled” sounds more humane and kind than “Disabled”. But does the use of this kind word in present world has actually changed the attitude of society?? Does it make the society kind to these children and to parents of these children?
For them, the journey began with the diagnosis….and then continued on a path wrapped in mist---uncertain and unclear. It starts with the usual 4 stages of pain- denial, blame (self-guilt, karma cycle), bribe (visit to religious places and following tough rituals to please GOD) and then the final acceptance. Once they accept, they find their immense strength and walk courageously on the path breaking through the challenges and clearing the mist.
These mothers are victimized and stigmatized by other mothers. They are accused of bad parenting and often pelted down with parenting suggestions. They face sad smiles from other mothers. They many a times face social boycott from other mothers. Rather than seething with rage and frustration, they wallow in the waves of this journey and face all this with indifference and a courageous smile.
Their journey is remarkable.
They leave no stone unturned for their child. Their daily routine has visits to therapists, doctors and special educators for years and years without getting disheartened and fatigued.
There are mothers who have not taken a peaceful shower in last two decades but have no complain about it.
There are mothers who are the only friend to their child.
There are mothers who celebrate the birthdays of all dolls and stuff toys because their child is never invited to any birthday party.
There are mothers who follow the “sunrise to sunset” therapy where they enter their child’s world and stay with them as they are not able to bring their child to this world.
There are mothers who have changed their lifestyle and diet for their child. They have started with GFCF or vegan diets to accompany their child.
They celebrate each milestone of their child- his first step at 5 after endless visit to therapists, his first sensible word at 7, him getting toilet trained in teenage and ….. they find joy in every little accomplishment.
I have met mothers who even celebrate their child’s sickness. They are happy that at least at such times they know the reason for their non-verbal child’s unusual crying.
They take their child to public places though they know that the outing might turn out to be another unpleasant experience. They are indifferent to the strange stares in public at their child’s meltdown.
These are ladies whose motherhood encompasses various roles- educator, friend, philosopher, counsellor, therapists and advocates. They work tirelessly for spreading awareness, fighting for social acceptance and inclusion of their children, devising alternative education, running institutions and support groups and struggling to get the justice for their children. They are brave enough to discuss the taboo subject of sexuality and sexual desires of such special need individuals.
For world, the child is just a diagnosis. But for the mother he/ she is much beyond that- a lodestar that guides her life. They embrace their children and if given a chance will choose to be their mothers again and again.
In my journey as a special educator, I meet such heroes every day. I even know a few of the mothers who have adopted such children. They walk each day with a deep faith and trust in their heart ignoring the constant knocks of fear and worries.hide
On this Mother’s Day, I salute the God’s chosen ones who were bestowed on by the Almighty with an honour to mother the purest souls sent from heaven to earth. These special souls were sent to these preferred parents for a cause beyond human understanding and with a cosmic role to bring a balance and serenity in the world that is sinned and paralysed by materialism.
Each of these mother’s journey is a saga- a spiritual awakening, a hope and inspiration to many. Every story is a chronicle of unparalleled courage and strength!!!!!!!!!!